Holiday Family Stress: A Guide To Staying Grounded

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Written By Jessica Stone, MA, LMFT #147975

The holidays can bring warmth and connection, but they often also bring heightened stress, anxiety, and old family patterns. Feeling tense before gatherings is common. From a systems perspective, the holidays can reactivate familiar roles and expectations that make it hard to stay grounded.

Why the Holidays Feel Stressful

Family roles often resurface during the holidays, such as:

  • - Peacekeeper

  • - Caretaker

  • - “Easy one”

  • - Fixer

  • - Tension absorber

These roles can lead to anxiety, burnout, resentment, and emotional fatigue when family expectations clash with your needs.

Signs You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

  • - Feeling on edge before gatherings

  • - Guilt for needing space or saying no

  • - Reverting to old patterns

  • - Emotional exhaustion

  • - Worry about conflict or triggering conversations

Strategies to Protect Your Peace

  1. 1. Set Boundaries with Intention
    Decide how much time, energy, and emotional labor you’ll give. Clarifying boundaries helps prevent over-functioning and shifts long-standing patterns.

  2. 2. Notice Old Roles
    Ask: “What role am I slipping into?” and “Does this still serve me?” Awareness helps you respond intentionally rather than automatically.

  3. 3. Plan for Triggers
    Support your nervous system with quick resets: step away, breathe, take a walk, use grounding techniques, or text a supportive friend.

  4. 4. Build Space for Yourself
    Your needs matter. Protect time for rest, movement, creativity, or anything that helps you feel centered.

When to Seek Support

If stress becomes ongoing, therapy can help you:

  • - Understand family patterns

  • - Break unhelpful cycles

  • - Strengthen boundaries

  • - Communicate clearly

  • - Create healthier relationships

Move Through the Season with Steadiness

With awareness, boundaries, and support, the holidays don’t have to recreate old patterns. If you’re curious about how your family system shapes your stress and how to shift it, I’m here to help.



Please Note: The information provided on this website is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be mental health therapy, diagnosis, treatment, or a substitute for professional therapeutic services. Viewing this site or communicating through it does not establish a therapist–client relationship.

If you are seeking mental health services, please contact a licensed professional in your area or reach out directly to inquire about starting therapy. If you are in crisis, call your local emergency services or crisis hotline immediately.

Jessica Stone, MA, LMFT #147975

Jessica is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California and owner of Ocean View Therapy LLC. She supports individuals and couples navigate modern living. Offering guidance for anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, and life transitions.

https://www.oceanviewtherapy.net
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